Break it to my heart
by wootutoo
Summary: One-shot about Maura's reaction after Jane died. Sequel to Beaten Odds by wolfergirl. Hope you guys like it :)


Well, a fangirl's mind can't be completely disconnected from her ships, not even during tests. So this is what I wrote.

For those interested, I still have two tests. One on tuesday the other one on the 24th, then -hopefully- I'll be in 3rd year.

This fic was inspired by Katherine Jenkins's song "Break it to my heart." and by _Beaten Odds_, written by wolfergirl and the prequel to this one-shot.

Also, please forgive my mistakes and non-senses :P

Hugs,

A.

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Good luck on your thingie on monday, Lexie! Remember to be sexy!

* * *

Maura opened the door with the copy of the keys that Jane gave her once and pushed it wide open.

The apartment looked empty, even with all of Jane's stuff still in place. The hallways felt naked with out her laugh; her shadow in the kitchen floor was missing. Jane was not there and she was _never_ coming back.

The realization broke Maura's heart. She shook her head. It didn't _break_ her heart. The heart was a muscle, it couldn't be broken, maybe teared, but never broken. Maura knew that the uneasy feeling and the sadness she was feeling were product of low levels of dopamine, serotonin and other neurotransmitters. She knew that the feeling of a heavy heart was just a reaction to a nervous stimuli. She knew depression was a common stage during the mourning process, that that all what she was feeling was completely normal. But knowing what was happening inside of her didn't make her feel better.

She was a huge book of facts and knowledge, but all that information had been useless when she needed it the most: when she needed to save Jane.

Jane had died in her arms, the life had slipped from her, and Maura couldn't do anything but watch and deny what was happening.

The Queen of the Death closed the door behind her and looked around. Emptiness and a big nothing surrounded her. This was all her fault. Maybe if she found a way to fix it things would go back to normal. _Normal_. Her life would never be normal again, not with out Jane.

Maura dropped her bag on the floor and placed the keys on one of the living room's tables, while doing so she pushed a picture frame with her hand. The frame fell to the floor and broke, glass flew everywhere. Maura kneeled and watched the photo; there they were, Jane and her, during last christmas. She moved the pieces of glass from the picture and grabbed it. Those were good times.

_Good times_. That was what Jane would have wanted, to be remembered as the joyful person she had been her whole life, not as the bleeding person that had died some hours ago.

A tear went down Maura's face as she walked towards Jane's room. This was not what Jane would have wanted; Jane would want Maura to be brave, as brave as Jane. But the doctor couldn't find courage; she had never considered herself a weak person, but being with Jane was comforting and reassuring.

With Jane by her side, the world was theirs.

The doctor never realized how much Jane meant to her, how much losing the cop was going to affect her life. There was still a long way to accept that there will never be "_Rizzoli and Isles_". No more Rizzoli and Isles solved that case, no more Rizzoli and Isles caught the bad guy, no more Rizzoli and Isles did it again. Ever again.

She placed the picture on Jane's night table, next to a half-empty glass of water that Jane had probably left there that morning. Jane had started drinking a glass of water every morning after Maura pointed out her how beneficial it was. Maura caressed the glass's border, trying to remember Jane's lips, trying to hear her voice, but all she could hear was silence.

The doctor turned the bed-light on and laid on the side of the bed where she used to sleep when they had sleepovers, and hugged her legs, imagining Jane's warmth next to her. She tried to remember the smell of Jane's hair; but the more she tried, the less she succeeded.

"Why did you leave me, Jane?" Maura whispered.

Maura didn't know the answer to that question, and she'd probably never get it. And it killed her, it ate her alive. If God existed like Jane and her family believed, he had taken Jane away from Maura too soon. She laid awake, pretending Jane was next to her, recreating conversations she had had with the cop during their girls-night-in.

Memories flashed her eyes. Since the first time they met until the last time Jane's eyes shone. No, it couldn't end like that. Jane's life had to have a _happy ending_.

"If it's alright, I'll pretend you're coming home." Maura added after a while. "I - I can't break to my heart that you'll never come back."

She buried her face on her pillow and sobbed. "And I'll still be loving you, Jane. Always have and always will."


End file.
